On the penultimate day of 2009, I am watching my 10 1/2 month old sit in a laundry basket pounding his chest in a room full of (hopefully) clean clothes and moving boxes. Out the window, downtown Seattle is slowly waking up. I can see the foothills of Mt. Rainier, but the mountain itself is hidden behind a thick gray wall of cloud. I will certainly miss this view.
As I previously wrote, we are in the midst of moving. In two days the movers (yes, the movers, apparently we are fancy...or lazy...or overwhelmed by the prospect of moving five years worth of accumulation down three flights of stairs and up two, with a baby) will be here and they will take all of our stuff to Wallingford. We will start 2010 with a slightly larger apartment. With two whole bathrooms and a deck. We get the keys this evening. Anyway, in the hustle and excitement of trying to pack this all up, it is easy to forget that yet another year is coming to a close. What a year it has been.
This year has been full of personal joy and familial loss. As a society, we have experienced hope in humanity and progress and the tragic and untimely deaths of favorite celebrities and local heroes. We lost our wonderful friend and pet Sparky to a sudden illness. And we barely had time to grieve his loss before our friend Erica passed away at the too young age of 21. I still can't believe she is gone. Erica, we think of you and your family often. We hope that you are happy and safe, where ever you are.
Sometimes it has been hard to find the positive in a year filled with more war in Iraq and Afghanistan, execution style murders of coffee-sipping police officers in Washington, kids setting other kids on fire in Florida, and the unexpected deaths of Michael Jackson and so many others. Attempted terrorists attacks on Christmas day, the economy, and swine flu occupy our thoughts and lead to hand wringing, brow furrowing worry.
But then I look at my son, and I realize just how important it is to remain positive, to believe that humans are good, to raise him to be good. In a society that focuses so much on "me", there needs to be a shift to "we". And life is just too short to surround oneself and one's family with negativity. Reed is a bundle of love, giving kisses, sometimes on command. We only have so much energy to give, and it can't be wasted on energy sucking individuals. I can only give so much, and my roles as a mother and wife and friend are the most important. Any energy I might have left over is dedicated to school and dishes. I just can't expend energy on negativity. I will gladly expend energy on positivity, growth, health, and happiness.
So, in addition to the usual eat better and exercise more, my resolution this year is to focus on the positive, no matter how challenging that may be. I know that it is my tendency to focus on the negative, but I just can't do that anymore. So however difficult or painful it may be to get to the positive, that is where I will aim to be. Please join me.
